One of the things that worried me most when I decided to join this 10-month volunteering program was my long-distance relationship. I kept wondering how it would be for us to spend so much time apart. Would we make it? Would we both put in the effort?
As always, no article of mine can start without mentioning the song I’m listening to right now. Fun fact: this was my most-played song of 2024, and it was only released in September. I mean… I am OB-SE-SSED with it.
I’ve been in long-distance relationships before and, in all honesty, they didn’t end well. I still don’t know if they failed because of the distance or because of other things. TL;DR: I definitely wasn’t planning to be in another long-distance relationship.
When I decided to join this program some time ago, I actually also convinced Igor to join me. I thought it could be a great experience for both of us. And I still think that. But I’m also happy to be living this experience by myself.
My partner is my pillar. My biggest supporter and motivator. And he spent so much time and energy so that he can be able to understand me. So waking up without him still hurts, even though more than two months have passed since I arrived here.
Going back to the maintenance part of the relationship, I think it’s very important to make your partner feel included in your daily life. It’s not easy, but making time to talk on the phone and to exchange messages has a big impact. Even if he doesn’t know who Pepita or Pepito is.
I’d say we do not have rules… but we have habits. For me, it was very important from the very beginning to never go to sleep or wake up without contacting my partner. It’s my way of saying: I’m still here and I am thinking of you. It’s a bit harder on weekends, because he wakes up later, but we found a way that works.
But it is not easy. Or at least, for me, it has been hard many times. Being used to sharing a home only with him for the past years and then coming here, where I share space with at least 25 people I interact with daily, brought a lot of challenges.
I wish I could open this door and find my boyfriend on the other side, waiting to hug me tight and caress my hair while I cry.
There have been so many moments when I needed those hugs. Moments when I felt like my world was shaking and I was surrounded by people who didn’t see me or understand me. Moments when I just wanted someone who knew me to step in and promise that things were going to be okay.
Being apart is not something that is happening to us. It’s something we chose… mostly I did… knowing it wouldn’t be easy. And some days, it feels like a bad choice. Other days, it feels like a real opportunity for growth.
There are seven more months to go before we sleep in the same bed again for more than five days. In a way, I can’t wait for these months to pass. But at the same time, I’m curious to see how things will unfold, and how we will grow apart and together at the same time.
Especially because, even though we’ve been apart these past three months, we were still in the same time zone, just a four-hour flight away. I feel like the real challenge will start when I get to India. :